Hello friends at WAGNH. I wasn't able to watch the entire match yesterday, for I was in the middle of a nation-wide blackout and I could only catch the second half of the game in my car. The hype that usually sorrounds a London Derby is vast, but this particular one didn't disappoint neither Chelsea fans nor neutrals (I think West Ham fans were left with a sore bum, though).
Hazard started the game on the right. It seems that Hazard, in the words of the philosopher "Soulja Boy Tell 'Em", 'Hopped out of [his] bed, turned [his] swag oooooonnnnnnnn, took a look in the mirror, say "What's up"'. Yes, it certainly seems as though Hazard's swag was well established on his person from the onset of this match, and that it was certainly turned on. This was the best match of his career in my opinion. He was literally in possession of the ball more than 10% of the time. That's amazing, considering there are 21 other players on the field, all fighting for possession. He was always in control, playfully whispering into Manuel Mata's ear and the sentiment reciprocated, with the pair of them passing the ball between themselves for funsies. Hazard was on a different level, though, with what has to be the best performance of a Chelsea player all season (Sorry Oscar). He ended the game with an assist and a goal to his name, but those stats shame his performance in all honesty. The video should tell you what I mean.
I find this a more appropriate time than any to say or, rather, ask the following (Especially since 100% of Belgians look like Eminem): "Guess who's back, back again". Obviously, the only truly suitable response to this question is to joyously exclaim "Eden Hazard's back, tell a friend". If you'd like, though, you can exclude the last part of the popular chorus; a needless pseudo-soliloquy that has no practical purpose to anyone anywhere. I mean, who asks, with more fervency than before, a question that has already been answered? "Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back... DA NA NA NA NA NA" etc. I mean, I find this part of this otherwise invaluable song pointless. Anyway. To give you an idea of how great this performance was, I took 40 minutes on a very capable computer to render this video in 720p. That's a lot of time. Hazard has been my favourite player since November, and he's just making it harder and harder for anyone else to even appear in my peripheral without me being sorely disappointed. Alas, all good things come to an end, but at least we shall enjoy this particular ride of resplendent form from our Godly Belgian while it fucking lasts.
Please enjoy in my video the first movement of Rachmaninov's Second Piano Concerto, which I've only just heard about myself from a fellow here at WAGNH.
Please Rec this article if you like it. Please note that I never proof read, so there's likely to be some shit in here somewhere.
How would you rate Eden Hazard out of ten versus West Ham?
0-2 (Horrible) (6 votes)
3-4 (Bad) (1 vote)
5 (Average) (1 vote)
6-7 (Good) (5 votes)
8-10 (Excellent) (289 votes)
302 total votes