You can't put the blame on me! It's not fair! - Scott Heavey
Viva la Rafalución!
Few things are worse than the idea of a certain ex-Liverpool manager in charge of beloved Chelsea. One of those worse things is the hot, suffocating air that escapes from said ex-Liverpool manager in charge of beloved Chelsea in the form of words and sentences uttered at pre- and post-match conferences. To avoid inflicting permanent harm on myself and the various electronics in my possession, I've been actively ignoring most of these.
But I couldn't help doing a double-take on this one.
Ok, that's just your traditional sensationalist, headline-grabbing over-exaggeration that's common practice in all forms of media, right? Surely, Mr. Interim Idiot couldn't have sang such silly short-sighted soliloquies in a time when Chelsea have been piling on dreadful result after dreadful result, could he? I mean, there's got to be a limit where he attains a certain tiny-tiny level of self-awareness, right?
(Against Reading) was a fantastic game. We still need to get the result we deserve.
-Source: F&H Chronicle
Oh dear. "Fantastic." I'm assuming on the scale that he's using in this moment, a 2-3 loss would've been good, a 2-4 loss decent, while a 2-1 or 2-0 win would've been the greatest football match result ever of all known space and time.
There's also that lovely word "deserve." "Still need to get the result we deserve." I thought it was silly when Barcelona kept using this word to excuse away their loss to Chelsea - an isolated occurrence that, depending on your viewpoint, has either an infinitesimally small or perhaps just a rather unlikely chance of ever repeating itself.
But that's not even close to how silly it sounds from the mouth of this buffoon, who now has been in charge of seven of Chelsea's eight worst performances of the season, including three draws on the trot, four home shutouts, two home losses, a joke of a Cup World Cup, and two two-goal comebacks suffered at the hands of relegation fodder. Three wins from nine in January. "It's not my fault, I swear; I'm just very very very very very very unlucky," he must think to himself as he rocks himself to sleep each night on the piles of Roman Abramovich's money.
Speaking of not his fault...
It's difficult to explain... [blah blah blah blah blah blah]
I don't have a concrete count on this, but this guy has to have the copyright on this phrase for the number of times he trots it out in his press conferences. Isn't it his JOB to figure this out? Isn't it his JOB to fix the problems? Isn't that why he was brought in, to take the club in the proper direction or whatnot? To, ummm, you know, win? So what was the point again of all this circus?
It is indeed difficult to explain.
We are improving. We did an exercise with corners and free-kicks (on Tuesday) and it was fine.
-Source: F&H Chronicle
Holy [shoe], guys! They did an exercise with corners and free-kicks! It was so money, you wouldn't even know it!
Difficult, indeed. To Explain.
Last spring, Ramires spoke of how Roberto Di Matteo restored the squad's confidence in itself. Based on Di Matteo's handling of the press and his ability to actually take responsibility for his actions and decisions, and most importantly on the actual results to which he guided the team, it's easy to see how that confidence was restored.
It's hardly a stretch to now say that all that good work has been completely undone by this shameful brouhaha. This wet sponge of a manager, impermeable to accountability, has swallowed up all the passion and all the swagger and left us with a sinkful of putrid waste water, a steaming pile of excuses, and a useless, apathetic rest of a 2012-13 season to look forward to.
I ended that last sentence with a preposition. It's difficult to explain. Not my fault. Fact. I controlled the writing and put in a fantastic effort, but it's difficult to explain. Not my fault. I didn't get a pre-season.