One win in the last seven home matches sound beyond terrible. Two-in-eight doesn't sound much better, but it does sound better than one-in-seven. And it sure sounds better than one-in-nine. That's cutting edge analysis for ya right there. So let's make it two-in-eight. Please, for the love of all that's good and holy, let's make it two-in-eight. I'm begging over here.

Chelsea starting lineup (4-2-3-1):
Petr Cech | Ashley Cole, Gary Cahill, Branislav Ivanovic, Cesar Azpilicueta | Frank Lampard, Ramires | Eden Hazard, Juan Mata, Oscar | Fernando Torres

Substitutes from: Ross Turnbull, Paulo Ferreira, John Terry, Ryan Bertrand, Nathan Ake, Marko Marin, Demba Ba

Arsenal starting lineup (4-2-3-1):
Wojciech Szczesny | Kieran Gibbs, Thomas Vermaelen, Per Mertesacker, Bacary Sagna | Francis Coquelin, Abou Diaby | Santi Cazorla, Jack Wilshere, Theo Walcott | Olivier Giroud

Substitutes from: Vito Mannone, Laurent Koscielny, Carl Jenkinson, Andre Santos, Emmanuel Frimpong, Aaron Ramsey, Andrei Arshavin

In other news, I spelled Wojciech Szczesny correctly on the first try. WE'RE GOING TO WIN THE LEAGUE!

Willfully ignoring the team selection because...whoa. I mean. Just. Ugh. What in the actual...