You know that thing where people demand retweets from celebrities? The sad, sad prostration of their virtual selves so they can get a tiny crumb of acknowledgement from those more successful? Yeah, it's even worse when said celebrities find the retweet button and are way the [fun] too nice in deploying it.

The David Luiz retweetapocolypse has begun. The Mayans told us this day would come. Unleash the hounds!

The outbreak began twelve hours ago with this innocuous tweet:

@davidluiz_4 hey geezer!! Can u retweet/wish luck to my chums @marshy83cfc and @frances_patty getting married tomo?

— Antwan (@AntwanMcL09) August 3, 2012

At last count, David Luiz has retweeted people begging for exposure no fewer than 218 times. The infection has spread across six continents, and it's gaining potency, with the retweet per minute count getting worrying close to five. Someone, please stop the madness. The universe internet depends on you!

@davidluiz_4 can I get an RT? #geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer

— Laura Clint (@clinty6) August 3, 2012

I mean seriously what the [fun] is that. TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHTEEN TIMES.