Going through James Milner's brain: A football.
Some good did come out of Sunday's Community Shield loss against Manchester City. Thanks to a random act of kindness by Chelsea left back Ashley Cole, the press has been forced to write a positive story about him:
I just held out my hand and he gave it to me. It made me feel really happy. I think he must be a nice person because he gave me his medal. I’ve shown the medal to everyone. They all said it was very heavy and they that they like the look of it. It’s made me feel super.
That's seven-year-old City fan Bailey McColgan talking about Ashley Cole spotting him in the stands and then giving him his runners-up medal on the way out of the stadium. Obviously, a Community Shield runners up medal isn't exactly going to take pride of place in any Chelsea player's trophy cabinet, so it's not like Cole gave up a lot here, but this was a really nice gesture and a great way of winning some people over.
It will also never be mentioned again by the media. Oh well.