All agree: He is amazing
It's time for a very exciting site announcement: We Ain't Got No History is joining up with the Chelsea Offside! We here at WAGNH have been big fans of the work that Jack and Devin have been doing over there -- you could argue that this site has been at least partially modelled after their work -- and we're thrilled that they're joining up with us here as we work to improve the site still further. Please give them (and the new commenters that are sure to follow them over) a very warm welcome.
If you're not already familiar with our two new writers (you should be, silly!), here's a questions and answers session to get you started.
WAGNH: David Luiz?
Jack: Deity. I mean, he met Carlos Valderrama last week and the world didn't explode. You do the math.
Devin: In another life, he'd have been an excellent hipster. His Instagram account should henceforth be known as 'The Tales of Sideshow Bob and Assorted Native Friends'. Brilliant player with all the raw talent in the world, just needs another season or two to refine his skills. Here's hoping he takes Lucas Piazon as a roommate and the two embark on the quintessential Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure spinoff we've all been secretly pining for.
W: How long have you been blogging about Chelsea?
J: Man, for a while. I think I picked up Chelsea Offside, which was dormant at the time, in January 2008. A quick filter on the WordPress dashboard informs me that I did over 1,700 posts during my time over there. Christ I'm dull.
D: Lets see, I answered the call in January of 2011 and, in short, it just clicked. Been at this for a short while but thus far I've already learned the benefits of never slating Jose Mourinho, that Spurs fans will flame you regardless of context, and that despite the public perception, most Chelsea fans have a deeper understanding of what transpires than meets the eye.
W: Who is your favourite Chelsea player?
J: Past - Claude Makelele. The man's ability to reach an elite level without possessing elite - or even great - physical skill remains an inspiration. I'm about to break out the practice cones right now just thinking about him. Present - Ramires. If you don't love this kid, well, you can go to hell. His skillset reminds one of a young Michael Essien - with more dynamism, if that's even possible. It's a joy to watch the Brazilian on a regular basis.
D: Considering I've pined for Eden Hazard to join our ranks for some three years, I'd have to tip my cap in his direction. But, my heart belongs to the tried and true combination of John Terry and Frank Lampard. Their love might not rival that of Juan Mata and Fernando Torres, but hey, it works for me.
W: What more are you hoping for out of this summer? Expecting?
J: A shiny new job. And a new lush habitat in which to settle. Oh, you're referring to Chelsea? Apologies. Defensive reinforcement then is a must (right back, por favor), as is a center forward given the likeliness of a loan for young Romelu. Also: I wouldn't be opposed to adding an elite midfielder, and receiving a redo from adidas on that change strip. Bloody awful.
D: A right back and an alternative striker to provide cover should Lukaku make his necessary exit on loan. Also, more sponsorship deals with various Russian enterprises that may or may not be linked to blood money. I'm okay with this, provided we continue to import the best and brightest talent from across the globe, (see: Oscar).
W: Where will we finish in the league next year?
J: Among the Champions League places. Too safe? Try second then. Chelsea have significantly improved their overall level of talent, but still lack depth in key areas. While continued strengthening is in the cards according to Ron, I remain of the opinion, as much as it pains me, that we're not quite on par with City. Perhaps we will be by the end of August; then again, maybe City will be a van Persie - and who knows who else - wealthier.
D: Top of the table, naturally. It's high time we focus our energies towards domestic redemption. Roman got his fairytale, now it's time to take care of business and reclaim what is naturally ours. Also, I can't stomach another Manchester triumph, despite my willingness to accommodate our new sky blue overlords.
W: Who is more awesome, Steve or Graham?
J: Graham Taylor, hands down. Gerrard can piss off.
D: I'm going with CarefreeChronic. He needs this.