Okay, so that's a lie but he is doing pretty well. Take a look at the following table:

That's only a selection of strikers around the league (I didn't have the time or patience to look up all of them), but I think it makes an interesting list. One could reasonably infer from this that given similar playing time our little Belgian could be scoring more goals than the likes of RvP, Suarez and Tevez.

It's obviously not quite as straightforward as that, but it's worth bearing in mind that his record is pretty consistent between games he's started and his appearances from the bench (107 mins per goal in the games he starts compared to 120 mins per goal off of the bench). Compare that to bonafide super-sub Edin Dzeko who has 1 goal in 398 minutes when he starts games but averages a goal every 32 minutes when he comes on as a replacement and you'll see that there's a good chance that Romelu could cope with the extra playing time.

I'm gonna hope that any comments in this don't turn into a criticism of Torres and instead take a more reflective look at how lots of people here wanted to sign Papiss 'twice-as-bad-as-Nando' Cisse as a solution to our striker problems this summer.