Secret fairness man - Richard Heathcote
AVB's bridges are falling down faster than Old London Bridge. Down, down. Falling down. My fair AVB.
To be fair, I'm fairly apathetic nowadays (thanks, Chelsea!). So in all fairness, this whole business of Andre Villas-Boas running his mouth doesn't bother that much. Then again, all's fair in love and war. And no, I don't care that this is possibly unfair since poor little AVB still hasn't learned the dark art of not feeding the media all the juicy bits.
So, picture Andre. He's a young, fair-looking fellow, especially as he's been somehow repressing his inner red-headedness/beardedness. Well, outer. Just give in, Andre! Let the red take over. Let it engulf you! Fiery red! Light it up! Flames! Fllllaaaaameesssssssss. Cue fairly manic laughter, to ring across this fair land of ours and yours and theirs.
Speaking of flames. Take it away, my fair Andre:
You can't give a bonus to teams who have failed. It's extremely unfair. I have said this in UEFA meetings before.
In the situation as it stands, teams fail in the Champions League and are promoted to the Europa League, which, in my opinion, is a massive bonus.
Well then. I do wonder what team brought on this fresh sense of unfairness. Surely it couldn't be Chelsea, could it? I bet it's FC Porto, who dropped into the Europa League last season, after finishing 3rd in a group containing such perennial powerhouses as Zenit St. Petersburg (Anno HULK & Witsel) and APOEL Nicosia.*
Fair play to AVB, he's burning two bridges with one
Wait, wait, I'm being unfair. I bet the fact that Atletico Madrid won this competition in 2010 after being yet another Champions League group stage dropout has tickled his keen sense of cosmic fairness the wrong way. That's it!
It would be much fairer if the clubs came in to the Europa League when they are knocked out of the last 16 of the Champions League.
Ooh, I know! Maybe we should just let the Champions League final loser drop into the Europa League final! That'd be the ultimate in fairness, wouldn't you say, Andre?
* On a sidenote, last place in that group went to none other than Shakhtar Donetsk. Damn their year-on-year improvement!