Chelsea's latest attempts to find a ballboy have met with an unfortunate ending thanks to 12-year-old Jordan Young refusing to move from Swindon Town. Wait, hold on a second...

...yeah so apparently this Young chap is actually a footballer that Chelsea tried to buy. Specifically, he's a midfielder and he's under contract with Swindon until 2015, at which point he'll be just about old enough to want to buy beer but be unable to. Anyway, the story isn't really interesting from Young's perspective - odds are we'll never see or hear his name again. What is kind of crazy is the fact that 12-year-olds are a) professional players and b) interesting enough that other teams want to buy them.

I mean, think about it. What were you good at when you were 12? As far as I can remember, I was good at approximately nothing apart from making a mess and eating lots of food, possibly in that order. And yet, somewhere in the world, there's a 12-year-old who has turned Chelsea FC down when they tried to buy him. My brain hurts.