With Torres almost a certainty, there's one thing I'd really like to happen today, and that if Chelsea can somehow rescue the David Luiz from Benfica transfer and bring Sideshow Jesus to Stamford Bridge. What's that? Good news, you say? Duncan Castles, Times reporter, you are now my favourite person in the world not named David Luiz:

If the move goes through, Chelsea will have spent upwards of £70M in one transfer window and brought in two phenomenal players who'll help the club for several years. Benfica need to cash in on Luiz sooner than later, and with Manchester City out of the picture, Chelsea are the only team around with the need and the money to make this work. However, the deal's been called on and off so many times that I'm not taking anything for granted until Luiz arrives in London.

I think I may become incapacitated with joy if this actually happens, though.